Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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