I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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