omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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