Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
