hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
