I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
