Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
