32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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