toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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