If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
