I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
