I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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