I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
