he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
