just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
