Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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