Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
