Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
