Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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