Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
