I like to think it a success when the cops are called
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
