so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
