Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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