so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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