Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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