yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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