She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
