He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
