Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
