i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My hand turned me down
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
