do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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