I have demons in me.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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