Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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