the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
