Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
