Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
