Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
