hotel room ftw
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I wish they made helmets for livers.
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
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I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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