dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
