I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
