the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
