Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
