I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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