..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
