There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
