You're completely useless in the revolution.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
