If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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