I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
