WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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