I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
