take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
