8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
