Only a mothe r could love this liver
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
