Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Your cock deserves a montage
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
