I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
