But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
