I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
