Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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