Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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