I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
