Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
being pregnant is like rehab
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
