i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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