It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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