she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
